How to Tell Your Spouse You Want a Separation or Divorce

May 1, 2021

10 tips to help you organize and prepare yourself for a difficult conversation: telling your spouse. One of the first questions I get from people who consult with me is “How do I tell my spouse?”  Even if you believe your spouse sees it coming (or should have...

In Divorce: My Inheritance is Mine, Right?

Oct 1, 2020

Your inheritance, well, yes and… In California legally an inheritance is the separate property of the person who receives it.   However, whether you get to keep it depends on what you did with it. If you kept your inheritance money in your name and in an account...

My Wife Had an Affair – Do I Have to Pay Her Spousal Support?

Sep 1, 2020

Your feelings around your spouse’s infidelity are natural, understandable, and important. Feelings of hurt, betrayal, anger, shock, rage, and so on are to be expected when one’s partner has been unfaithful.  Your feelings around the affair, whatever they might be, are...

How to Stop Fighting in Front of Your Kids

Aug 2, 2020

(Beyond Buttoning Your Lips!) Hold a “Commitment Ceremony” Before you can implement any of the following ideas, you need to have a commitment from your ex (or soon to be ex) that you will both do everything possible to stop fighting in front of the kids. Write it down...

5 Reasons to Stay Out of Court

May 18, 2020

As a retired Superior Court Family Law Commissioner, I firmly believe that if you can find a way to stay out of court, do so for the following reasons: Time Constraints – The Family Court system is underfunded and understaffed.  Even a relatively simple case can...